Starting Over
by naley1285
Summary: This is a one shot of what I would have liked to happen after the Christmas episode. Gleek!


**Hi guys! This is my first Glee fanfic. It's a one shot and I hope you guys like it. As you can see I'm a Finchel shipper :P Comments are much appreciated. xoxo!**

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Finn Hudson asked himself for the hundredth time. "Why do I keep screwing this up?" He groaned in frustration as he laid in bed, contemplating the events that had unfolded in the choir room yesterday. He remembered the look on Rachel Berry, his girlfriend's face when Santana blurted out that he had sex with her in a motel room not too long ago. He wanted to wipe the smug look on her face when she practically ruined his life in just a few words. He could've killed Santana, but that would be too messy.

Just a few days ago Rachel had told him that she was still a virgin, that she had never given herself to Jesse St. James, her then boyfriend. She had told him that the only person she wanted to lose her virginity to was Finn. And he just sat there mutedly without saying anything. He should've told her about Santana and none of this would have happened.

And then she told him that in a state of rage she had kissed Noah Puckerman, his best friend. He wanted to kill Puck too. It wasn't enough that he had gotten his ex-girlfriend, Quinn pregnant behind his back, he was now sneaking behind his back and kissed Rachel. That was when he lost it. He saw red and in a moment of hurt, he had told Rachel that it was over between them. But was it really? He had never loved anybody the way he loved Rachel. Not even Quinn, the queen bee of McKinley High. He didn't want things to be over, he realized. He wanted her back, but the look of hurt and pain in Rachel's eyes when he broke up with her...

He sat up abruptly. He had to find her and explain to her. He fished out his phone from his pocket and dialed her number. It went straight to voicemail.

"Dammit!" he cursed. He typed furiously _"Where are you? I need to see you" _and waited for a response, but it never came. "Come on Rachel. Come on baby." He waited for a few more minutes with his eyes never leaving the phone. It stared back at him, as if mocking him. He then grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the house.

He started with the park. He knew that Rachel loved the park, especially this time of the year. His eyes scoured the area and she was nowhere. He then went to the bowling alley, the place where they had their first kiss. He had taken her there the day when she was stressed about the Glee Club. She had been terrible at bowling and when she squealed with delight when she had scored a perfect ten, he couldn't help himself. He leaned over and kissed her. She had looked surprised, as if she was in a dream. After all she was a nobody and he was the quarterback of the football team. He gave a half smile as he remembered that day.

Suddenly he knew the answer to where she was. He drove like a maniac until he reached the McKinley High auditorium. She had to be here. She just had to. He opened the door and saw that the auditorium was lit. A second later he heard the keys of the piano tinkling. Sure enough she was there, just as he thought she would be. How could he have been so stupid. She loved this place. A place where she was most comfortable at. She didn't seem to realize that he was there. He was slowly to where she was sitting.

"Hey," he said softly. He saw that she had a tear streaked face and felt his heart constrict. Did he do that to her? "Is this seat taken?" he asked.

She shook her head and he took it as an invitation.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I tried calling you but I guess your phone was switched off." She kept on tinkering with the piano keys silently. He put his hand on hers to stop her. "I needed to see you." She had her head bowed down. "Rachel look at me," he said and tilted her chin. "I don't care what happened between you and Puck. I forgive you, but I need to explain what happened between me and Santana."

"There is nothing to explain. We weren't together at the time and you had every right to sleep with whoever you wanted." She struggled to say the words. It still pained her.

"Do you believe me if I told you that it meant nothing?"

She looked at him properly for the first time. "Does it matter?"

Her indifference scared him. "Rachel don't do this. It matters to me. I want you to know that it meant nothing. Please believe me."

"Okay," she said. "It meant nothing." She got up. "I have to go. It's getting late and I need to catch a bus."

"Rachel please stay. I'll take you home." He reached out for her hand and took it. "I need to tell you everything. I owe you that." She sat down again, albeit reluctantly.

"You had just gone out with Jesse," he started. "I was jealous as hell. I know I told you that after the whole Quinn fiasco that I needed to find out who I was before I start thinking about girls, and that was the biggest mistake I ever made. I wanted to be with you. I had fallen in love with you but my pride got in the way. So I let you go and to be honest everytime I saw you with Jesse I wanted to scream."

She simply nodded, so he continued. "One day you had just walked by my locker with Jesse's arm around your waist and I felt miserable. Santana came up to me. I guess she must have noticed how miserable I had looked. She offered to take my pain away and I was so angry at myself for letting you go that I agreed to meet her at the motel. And the rest, well you know what happened."

"Did it go away?" He looked confused. "The pain. Did it go away?"

He shook his head. "No, in fact I felt worse after. I knew I shouldn't have done it because it didn't mean anything. She wasn't the person I wanted to lose it to. She wasn't you." She kept silent. "Say something."

She stood up. "I've been thinking a lot these past few days." She looked at him. "Don't you think that the fact that there is always something that would come between us means something? I liked you when you were with Quinn and you liked me. And then you found out that Quinn was pregnant with Puck's baby and you didn't want to do anything with me. And then I went out with Jesse and when we finally got together, all this happened. I think it's about time we let this go," she said the last part with difficulty. She surprised herself by staying calm although she could already feel tears welling up in her eyes.

"Let what go? Us?" This time he stood up. She had forgotten how tall he was compared to her small frame. He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "never. I'm never letting this one go. You're right. All this means something. It means that no matter what happened, no matter if shit gets thrown our way, we will still be together. I shouldn't have broken up with you Rachel. I spoke with my head and not my heart. I love you. I've been in love with you since the day we kissed at the bowling alley." He tilted her head and tucked her hair behind her ear. He lowered his head and captured her lips. The kiss was full of tenderness, full of longing, full of love. "I love you," he whispered against her lips and kissed her again. He felt his heart swelled when she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

When they finally pulled apart, she said, "our relationship is always going to be difficult Finn. We're still in high school. Anything can happen."

He nodded in agreement. "I don't know what's going to happen in the future and you're right, we're still in high school. But I do know that I want to be with you. Now tell me that you want to be with me."

She smiled. "I do want to be with you." She then sobered up. "Promise me that we will always be honest with each other."

"Always."

"I'm sorry if you think that I'm a prude for not wanting to sleep with you-"

He put his finger on her lips. "No, we'll do it when you're ready," he said with a smile.

This time she let the tears fall. Smiling through her tears she said, "start over?"

He smiled back. "Start over," he said and pulled her close.


End file.
